Luke the Barbarian

If for no other reason, you should read this post because one of my sixteen-year-old buds gets completely owned by an old German lady at McDonald's. Talk about the tensions and mysteries of humanity...

This should be preceded by saying that Luke, the sixteen-year-old, is completely kind and chivalrous. I appreciate Luke; what makes this story so ironic and funny is that the one time he slipped up, Fate was there to give him a vigorous noogie.

Once upon a time, Luke decided to spend 72 hours awake for the fun of it and the elite glory of being able to claim he had done so. At the time this story occurred, he had been awake for 32 of his allotted hours. In brief, he was exhausted. He, his brother (my Levi!), myself, and another young gentleman that was to join him on his somnolent journey congregated at McDonald's for a short quiescence. There was general fun at McDonald's. Then we decided to go to the library. (Fun fun fun!)

This is where the tense complications take place: We're headed out the door. If I remember all this correctly, I walk out, Luke and his friend come out next, followed by an elderly German lady wearing a track suit, while Levi holds the door open for us all (win!)

The woman stops Luke and the other young man in their tracks and gives them a pretty epic speech that goes something like this, just to cover the high parts:

"To be a gentleman means to be gentle to all men, women, and respect the elderly. When there is a woman coming through the door, you do not walk in front of her. You hold open the door for her and let her go first as he did"--(gestures to Levi. Double win, dude.)

The speech went a little longer and Luke stared at German track suit lady numbly with bloodshot eyes. He listened very attentively, respectfully and also looked a little frightened, and, needless to say, I was about to lose it. Levi and I made an escape towards the car as the German accent faded out of earshot.

So, to review the scores:

Me--Neutral
Luke's Friend--Fail
Levi--Win
Luke--Epic Fail
Grandma--Epic Win