Sunday, March 14, 2010

Imaginary Friend

I have a 'my show.'

You know what i mean when i say 'my show!' it's the one that makes you squeal when someone you just met mentions it offhand, and also compels you to cling like a crazed, starved hyena to the ones in your acquaintance who can quote it.

i've been searching my whole adolescence for 'my show.' then squish! (using boom is so overrated) there it is, tossed right out in front of me as though to say, "what took you so long?"

My show is THE OFFICE. oh! have you ever seen a more splendid smorgasbord of delicious antics? it's like dilbert, only more attractive and it moves across your television screen. the media wields such power: now, when someone says something unequivocally stupid, i stare off into space with wide, incredulous eyes, consequently prepared at any moment for a television camera to capture my moment of jim. What's that? who's jim, you say? you don't know who jim is? say it just a little louder? i want the whole internet to smell the reek of your ignorant breath!

however, here's my recommendation: don't overdose. i found myself binging on the dvd of season 3, and as a result, i watched four consecutive episodes uninterrupted and most of the bonus features. to give you an idea of the effects of many hours of the office, consider this: i googled the symptoms of hangover--fatigue, headache, dizziness, thirst, decreased attention and concentration. to put it simply...i think i got a hangover from too much tv.

reflecting on the power of the media, i was just remembering today when i was 7 years old and i made speed racer my imaginary friend. Important to note here is that i'm not talking about the flick from 2008, which i attempted to watch part of and would have thrown up if i had cared (as it was i gagged a little). i am talking about the animated vessel of awesome that used to come on cartoon network. does anyone else remember that? anyway, speed and i had a great relationship. he always agreed with me, as well as taking me around in his car.

what was i saying about hangover? aw, never mind.

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